Boys and self-discipline
Self-discipline is the most important lesson a boy can learn at home and at school. It is the training and control of oneself and one’s conduct; the act of disciplining our feelings or desires, or at least not allowing our actions to be dictated by them. It is the correction or regulation of oneself for the sake of improvement. It is the ability to motivate oneself in spite of a negative emotional state. It is, in short, the application to our own lives of the standards we expect from the people we rely on. It does not require superior intelligence, special talent, good looks, wealth or popularity. Even if – as a general rule – a young man who begins to focus on self-discipline will quickly start to get better grades, develop new skills, look and feel better, become more popular and confident, probably become holier and happier. “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”
For example, I can rely on myself to get up in the morning when my alarm rings; I can rely on myself to meet deadlines, to get my clothes washed, to prepare for an exam; to turn up on time for activities. Once I can rely on myself, others will being to rely on me. I begin to set a good example, and others follow it. It all happens naturally.
Without self-discipline we can never achieve our full potential or accomplish our dreams. A person who is a naturally gifted musician or athlete but if doesn’t have the discipline to practise hard and often will never reach their full potential. An extremely intelligent person who did not study and learn would waste that ability. We are tremendously handicapped if we base our decisions purely on our comfort level. If we don’t develop the capacity for self discipline we deprive ourselves of not only greater likelihood of success, but also larger and long-lasting satisfactions.
Men who are undisciplined are slaves to their appetites, moods, and desires. Freedom comes from discipline. Self-discipline involves acting on how you think and not how you feel. If you allow your whims (your feelings–moods, appetites, desires) to control you, life is not of your own choosing. Living a life with discipline is a much more efficient way to live life. It makes life easier and less chaotic.
For all boys, but especially for teenage boys, fathers and male teachers are the boundary that keeps them from asserting their will in ways that could be destructive to themselves and others.
Boys who are not disciplined by their fathers or mentors may never learn self-discipline and self-control which are huge factors in male satisfaction throughout life. Boys who are undisciplined are unhappy and grow up to be men who disappoint themselves and others in their life; often the person they will end up disappointing the most is their future wife.
In a boys’ boarding school where male authority figures share in the fatherhood of the father at home (if there is a father at home …) it is important that every teacher should be aware that his disciplinary role is not just that of an enforcer who ensures a calm working atmosphere in class. His aim should also be to instil self-discipline in his charges. It is easy to force people to do good. But it is better to teach them to desire what is good and to help them to develop sufficient moral fibre to choose it, and to stick to it.
